{"id":399,"date":"2023-03-12T15:43:37","date_gmt":"2023-03-12T16:43:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/?p=399"},"modified":"2025-06-18T08:38:51","modified_gmt":"2025-06-18T08:38:51","slug":"does-he-love-me-10-signs-he-loves-you-how-to-deal-if-he-doesnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/12\/does-he-love-me-10-signs-he-loves-you-how-to-deal-if-he-doesnt\/","title":{"rendered":"Does He Love Me?: 10 Signs He Loves You + How to Deal if He Doesn\u2019t"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever found yourself wondering, <em>does he love me?<\/em> You are far from alone. Not only do I have personal experience wondering this in various relationships over the years, but my research shows that thousands of us ask the same question every single month. Questions like these\u2013<\/p>\n<p><em>what are the signs he loves you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>does my boyfriend love me<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>does my husband really love me<\/em><\/p>\n<p>and<\/p>\n<p><em>signs a man loves you<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u2013show that we women are wondering about these questions in droves.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s no surprise. Love is one of life\u2019s greatest treasures, something we all seek in earnest. Love is wonderful, and we all desire it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve been in a relationship for any length of time, you will, of course, question what your partner\u2019s feelings are. Hopefully, the two of you have open <a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/communication-in-relationships.html\">communication<\/a>, plenty of trust, and a solid foundation, but these things take time to build. Even if you and your partner have exchanged the three magic words\u2013\u201cI love you\u201d\u2013you may still find you\u2019re not confident that the love is there. This post is for you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-16343 size-large lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Young couple sitting at a table on a date in a coffee shop while drinking coffee. A croissant is on a plate in front of them.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" data-src=\"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/AdobeStock_232154981-1024x683-1.jpeg\"><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">Does he love me? Does he really love me?<\/h2>\n<p>First of all, I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re feeling this way, but I totally understand. It\u2019s scary and confusing to be unsure of your significant other\u2019s love.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I went through a long period of seeing the signs that my husband Nathan loved me but still being unable to believe him. This was a painful anxiety I dealt with, but I was able to get through it and completely heal from those worries. If that sounds like you, I encourage you to read my post on how to stop <a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/do-you-love-me.html\">needing reassurance in relationships<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The question of \u201cdoes he love you\u201d or \u201cdoes he still love me\u201d is one that can arise at any time in a relationship. For most people reading this, it is probably closer to the start of your relationship. Perhaps you\u2019ve been dating a few months and are wondering if love is truly growing between the two of you. Or maybe you\u2019re going on a few years together and fearful that your love may be fading. I think this article will be of help to you, but we\u2019ve got other resources on the site you may find helpful, too. Some of these may especially be helpful if you\u2019re in a long-term relationship and struggling.\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/we-are-not-each-others-soulmates-but-thats-okay.html\">We\u2019re Not Each Other\u2019s Soulmates and That\u2019s Okay <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>(a post talking about why ideas like soulmates and \u201cthe one\u201d might not necessarily be true or healthy)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>26 <a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/relationship-myths.html\">Relationship Myths<\/a> You Might Still Believe<\/li>\n<li>8 <a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/real-relationship-goals.html\">Real Relationship Goals<\/a> Worth Striving For<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/relationship-advice-for-couples.html\">Relationship Advice for Couples<\/a>: 12 Principles for Lasting Relationships<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/signs-youre-with-the-wrong-person.html\">9 Signs You\u2019re With the Wrong Person<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/signs-he-wants-to-marry-you.html\">Signs He Wants to Marry You<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">More Than Words<\/h2>\n<p>If there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learned, it is that love is an action more than anything else. Let me repeat that again for those in the back:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Love is an action, more than anything else.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Words are certainly extremely powerful\u2014and I fully believe that couples should share their love in words daily\u2014but actions are even more powerful. Because actions back up what you\u2019re saying with proof. A man who loves you will show it in how he treats you and the choices he makes.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll notice that, among the 10 signs he loves you I\u2019ve compiled below, I have not included \u201cbecause he says so.\u201d Anyone can say the words, but those who put real action behind them are the ones truly demonstrating love.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Early on in your relationship, your partner may be slow to say the words, too. This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean the love isn\u2019t there. It may mean that your partner is very cautious with those words and does not take them lightly. It may mean he has some relationship anxiety and has fear about saying them to you. These are normal ways to feel, and perhaps you feel similarly yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Love IS a big deal. To say \u201cI love you\u201d is a HUGE deal. It doesn\u2019t need to be rushed.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You may want to be patient if you\u2019re still waiting to hear those words. How long you\u2019re willing to wait is up to you, of course. It took Nathan seven months of our relationship to say it back to me. I was patient. And oh, it was so worth it!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Of course, if you\u2019re still waiting or wondering, the following 10 signs may allay your fears.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Read Next: <\/strong>How to Stop<a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/overthinking-in-a-relationship.html\"> Overthinking in a relationship<\/a><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">10 Reliable Signs He Loves You<\/h2>\n<p>This is not meant to be an exhaustive list. Love is complicated, and everyone shows love in different ways. But, one thing is for sure: if your significant other is putting in effort, this is a good sign. Effort is necessary to give love, to become a better person, and to have a successful relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, effort is also a sign of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theroot.com\/why-emotional-maturity-and-emotional-intelligence-are-i-1821030316\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">emotional maturity<\/a>. So the signs below may indicate not just love but an ability and a willingness to build a successful relationship.<\/p>\n<h3>He shows you genuine respect.<\/h3>\n<p>Respect and love go hand in hand. On its own, respect may not be a clear-cut sign of romantic love, but it should always be present in a loving relationship.<\/p>\n<p>If your partner demonstrates respect for you: your choices, your time, your body, your thoughts, this may be a sign that he values you as more than just a friend.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>A man can show respect in a variety of ways. For example, one of the ways I feel most respected is when I am listened to. When my partner listens to the things I have to say, is willing to be attentive to my problems or even just my general musings, this makes me feel extremely respected. It makes me feel like I am important to him and that there is value in my thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n<h3>He puts you first.<\/h3>\n<p>One of the signs a man loves you is when he frequently puts you first. In fact, this may be one of the deepest signs he really loves you. It is truly an act of love and unselfishness to put the needs and happiness of another person first. This is something we should be doing in our relationships all the time, and truth be told, it can be very difficult.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If your significant other does this for you, whether it be taking care of you when you\u2019re sick, going above and beyond to help you out in some way, or setting aside his own needs to do something for you, this is a strong sign that love is present.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Read Next: What a Husband Needs from His Wife | What a Wife Needs from Her Husband\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He makes time for you, makes you a priority.<\/h3>\n<p>By the same token, a good sign of love is when your partner consistently makes time for you. You should feel confident that you are a priority in his life and in his schedule\u2013not an afterthought.<\/p>\n<p>A loving partner will work hard to incorporate you in his daily\/weekly life, even if it\u2019s inconvenient or challenging. He might shuffle his schedule around in order to have a date night with you, stop over to see you on his way to work or class, or even just consistently call you in the evening. These signs of effort are important, and they demonstrate that he cares about you and that you\u2019re an important part of his life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He makes efforts to fix relationship problems or to change his behavior for the better.<\/h3>\n<p>Every relationship will encounter its share of challenges and problems. Conflict is a normal part of life and a very common element in human relationships. What is important is how the two of you deal with that conflict.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>How does your partner handle relationship issues? Does he constantly push them aside and avoid dealing with them? Maybe he won\u2019t admit it when there are issues? Or perhaps he is unwilling to change any of his behaviors.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>This could be a sign of emotional immaturity, for sure, but it also may indicate that this is not a relationship built on love.<\/p>\n<p>A loving partner will put effort into strengthening and improving a relationship. He\u2019s willing to discuss these issues with you.\u00a0 He will be willing to make changes in his behavior for the good of the relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He shows you his vulnerable side.<\/h3>\n<p>One of the signs a man loves you is that he occasionally lets you see his vulnerability. He lets you in beyond the external barrier.<\/p>\n<p>This is definitely difficult for a lot of men. Typically, men are not nearly as in touch with their emotions as women are, and they are definitely not usually as comfortable sharing them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>But a man who loves you becomes more and more likely to give you glimpses into this vulnerable core. This is likely to be a slow process, but when you see signs of him letting you in, it can be a great indication that love is blooming.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>His interest in you is not solely sexual.<\/h3>\n<p>This is a big one. Does your significant other demonstrate to you that they are interested in what you offer beyond the bedroom? Relationships often begin with tons of passion and excitement, but this should not be confused with real, genuine love. While that can certainly be part of it, love is usually what grows later, as the initial high starts to fade. That early, passionate physical relationship many couples experience cannot yet be called love, but can be called lust.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Do the feelings and loving actions continue beyond that initial glow? Is there more to your relationship than the physical?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Is your partner doing more than the minimum, or is he doing just enough to get you into bed?<\/p>\n<p>These are questions worth examining. When love is truly present, the relationship is more than just a physical one.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He shows interest in the future with you.<\/h3>\n<p>Ah, the future. This can be a scary subject for many couples, and my experience in my 20s showed me that the topic especially scared a lot of twenty-something guys!<\/p>\n<p>But one of the signs he\u2019s in love with you is that these conversations are able to happen, even subtly.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Now, your boyfriend of a few months probably isn\u2019t ready to talk marriage and kids yet. But someone who loves you (or is on their way to loving you) will include you in their future plans.<\/p>\n<p>This could be subtle mentions. Maybe he talks about vacations you might take someday, or he speaks about an event a few months in the future and includes you in the plan. These are signs that he\u2019s picturing you as part of his future, or actively incorporating you into future plans.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, if your boyfriend doesn\u2019t even want to nail down plans for next weekend\u2026 he might not be ready for a loving relationship with you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He wants you to feel cared for.\u00a0<\/h3>\n<p>One thing my husband always says to me is how important it is to him that I am happy. This means the world to me.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I got this sense from him even when we were first dating, even when he didn\u2019t say it in so many words. I could tell that my feelings mattered deeply to him, and to me, that was one of the most clear-cut signs that he loved me.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>What does your partner show you in this area? Does he clearly prioritize your needs, wants, and desires? Does he go out of his way to do things that will make you happy or make you feel safe? Does he try to make you laugh, to brighten your mood when you\u2019re feeling down? Again, these can be subtle signs, but they often show a deeper love brewing within.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3>He introduces you to important people in his life.<\/h3>\n<p>Have you met your partner\u2019s parents? What about your boyfriend\u2019s friends? One of the strongest signs your boyfriend loves you can often be this one: does he introduce you to the people he loves?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>There may not be an opportunity to meet the parents if they live far away, but your man can also demonstrate this love by telling them about you. It\u2019s no guarantee of love, but knowing that you\u2019re important enough to be introduced to\/mentioned to these people is a telling sign for sure.<\/p>\n<h3>He makes you feel good about yourself.\u00a0<\/h3>\n<p>How can you tell if he loves you? One way is to notice how he makes you feel. I\u2019m not talking about flattery and feeling like a pampered princess. Does your partner make you feel like you are a person of value? Do you feel treasured? Do you feel respected? Do you feel like this person brings out better qualities in you? Makes you want to be a better person? Does he highlight your best aspects?<\/p>\n<p>A loving partner will not make us feel worse about ourselves. He will not make us feel disrespected or unimportant.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He may not always make us feel amazing, or constantly feel our best, but overall, someone who loves us should make us feel worthy of love.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-16346 size-large lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"A man and woman sit foreheard to forehead with their hands touching.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"684\" data-src=\"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/AdobeStock_165396424-1024x684-1.jpeg\"><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">He Doesn\u2019t Love Me\u2013What Should I Do?<\/h2>\n<p>So you\u2019ve read all the signs above and very few apply to your partner. Perhaps none apply. Does this mean he doesn\u2019t love you? Not necessarily.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re unsure about your partner\u2019s feelings, the best way to get your answer is to just ask him. This might not easy if it\u2019s very early in a relationship, but after a few months together, you should definitely be able to have an honest conversation about your feelings for one another and where this relationship may or may not be going.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Having a talk with your partner can be very illuminating. If he hasn\u2019t been displaying the signs above, such a talk could potentially wake him up and let him know he\u2019s been slacking. Relationships are a skill. If he\u2019s willing, a partner who wants to put effort in can become a better, more loving partner. In all honesty, we could all afford to be more loving in our relationships. It would not surprise me if you saw in the signs above some advice on how you yourself could better love your partner.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>What if your partner won\u2019t say I love you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This is a tough situation. If it has been many months or even years and your partner won\u2019t or can\u2019t say I love you, you may need to make a decision. How important is it to you to hear those words? For me (and probably for most of us) it is absolutely necessary. My primary love language is \u201cwords of affirmation.\u201d I feel most loved when my husband says he loves me or says other words of love and affection. Without this, I would not feel fulfilled and happy in a relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If that\u2019s how you feel, you need to talk to your partner about this. It\u2019s fine to be patient\u2013for awhile\u2013but after a significant time together, I\u2019m of the opinion that he should be able to profess his love for you in no uncertain terms.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>What if he doesn\u2019t love me?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If it turns out that your partner doesn\u2019t love you\u2013he won\u2019t say it or show it\u2013my heart goes out to you. Finding out the person you with doesn\u2019t love you is heart-wrenching. I had an experience of my own discovering that my boyfriend of several years was cheating on me and no longer loved me. You can read my story below, plus my best advice for getting through heartbreak. It\u2019s not easy and it takes lots of time, but healing is possible and there\u2019s often something so much better on the other side.\u00a0<\/p>\n<div style=\"clear:both;margin-top:0em;margin-bottom:1em\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/blog\/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"dofollow\" class=\"u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51\"> .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51 { padding:0px; margin: 0; padding-top:1em!important; padding-bottom:1em!important; width:100%; display: block; font-weight:bold; background-color:#ECF0F1; border:0!important; border-left:4px solid #eaeaea!important; box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.17); -moz-box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.17); -o-box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.17); -webkit-box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.17); text-decoration:none; } .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51:active, .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51:hover { opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; text-decoration:none; } .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51 { transition: background-color 250ms; webkit-transition: background-color 250ms; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; } .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51 .ctaText { font-weight:bold; color:inherit; text-decoration:none; font-size: 16px; } .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51 .postTitle { color:#000000; text-decoration: underline!important; font-size: 16px; } .u718e75382a2c0236ab3b85abdd5b0f51:hover .postTitle { text-decoration: underline!important; } <\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-left:1em;padding-right:1em\"><span class=\"ctaText\">READ NEXT:<\/span>\u00a0 <span class=\"postTitle\">How to Mend a Broken Heart &#8211; Top Tips for Getting Over a Breakup<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<p>There are men out there capable of love, I promise you that. And I think you can absolutely find the right one for you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-wrap\">\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-tab\">\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-gravatar\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" width=\"100\" height=\"100\" alt=\"\" class=\"lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/amyface.jpg\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-authorname\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\/author\/amywebics-com-au\" class=\"vcard author\" rel=\"author\"><span class=\"fn\">Amy Hartle<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-desc\">\n<div>\n<p>Amy Hartle<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>is the author of <em><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/37JfHmO\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships<\/a>,<\/em> a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-web \"><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\" target=\"_blank\">twodrifters.us<\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"clearfix\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"saboxplugin-socials \"><a title=\"Twitter\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/twodriftersxo\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" class=\"saboxplugin-icon-grey\"><\/a><a title=\"Instagram\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/twodriftersxo\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" class=\"saboxplugin-icon-grey\"><\/a><a title=\"Pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/pinterest.com\/twodriftersxo\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" class=\"saboxplugin-icon-grey\"><\/a><a title=\"Facebook\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/twodriftersxo\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" class=\"saboxplugin-icon-grey\"><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever found yourself wondering, does he love me? You are far from alone. Not only do I have personal experience wondering this in <a href=\"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/12\/does-he-love-me-10-signs-he-loves-you-how-to-deal-if-he-doesnt\/\" class=\"read-more-link\">[Read More&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":401,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-struggles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=399"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":404,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions\/404"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvacvaluations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}